As the title suggests, I'll be attacking the issues of beauty and love and what they mean in our generation. Whereas before I have a tendency to be playful and cute with my language, this is a topic that demands closer attention and respect ... so expect all the attempts at humour near the end ;)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say, and they're damn right. You've probably done the same thing as myself and my mates - the hot or not game, marry/snog/avoid etc. And I bet a lot of the time you disagreed with your mate's opinions and at best agreed when neither of you were that fussed. I'm particularly bad at it when I'm out with a lot of girl mates - I'm pretty crap at pickin' out guys who I think they might find attractive.
I guess that's a good thing, yes?
Yet there seems to be no tried and tested formula for beauty, and thank god for it. Imagine if it was something you could quantify, it would me a hell of a scramble when people pair off. (Think school disco with 20/30 year old and more fighting)
Then there's your mates other halves, boy is that a tricky one! What do you do when asked "what do you think?" after seeing a picture.
You should neither reply "eugggghhhhhhhhh!!! OH GOD MY EYYYYYYYYESSSSSS!
NOR
"Dude, your lady is friggin' smokin' ... she got a sister?"
What is the level of importance you attribute to beauty also? The perennial looks vs personality debate is one that will rage on forever. You may think that good looks are the clincher because obviously that's what we see first, rather sadly, a well-filled-in personality profile doesn't hover above people's heads when your out and about. Damn.
There are the personality supporters who argue that a solid first impression easily trumps how "fit" they may be. That beauty wanes and fades, whilst a character can endure for a lifetime is another stronger argument to be made.
Though whatever camp you may be from I'd bet my wallet (and it's contents!) that you doll youself up whenever you head out. I stick my hand firmly up as being this person. Hardly anyone will see me wearing my glasses, If I'm going to a club, I'm normally wrapped in a fancy shirt, waistcoat and one of my many various ties. (Mmmmmm ties)
It's an absolutly animalistic thing to do, like peacocks, we want to draw as much attention to ourselves as possible, and why not? I can't exactly wear a t-shirt saying "I'm a pretty sweet dude" and expect a room full of people to nod in agreement.
I suppose the important question to ask if do you like yourself? Even love yourself? Forget your make-up, contacts lenses and fancy clothes. Are you happy with yourself when you look in the mirror?
I was sent mail from an old friend voicing concern over me being on a diet, and that I should have more important things to worry about and that I should just be out enjoying myself. I would've like to agree, but, when I look in the mirror, I see a bit of a wreck. I'm neither under-weight nor over-weight, I just think I look rather average, and to me, average =boring.
Our generation of course, perhaps more than any other is exposed to a grossly unhealthy amount of magazines, t.v and films of people being described as "perfect."
Fuck that. When I see size 0, I wince. When I see perfectly straight, white teeth, I screw my face up. When I see middle aged people without a single wrinkle, I laugh my ass off.
It's these things that throw many a problem our way, the odds are they are our role models, but we're at a danger of taking things too far when we think we need to look like toys or models.
Beauty invariably leads to one of the most dangerous words and phenomenons in the world; Love.
" Falling in love too easily and too often may in fact be an expression of disaffection with oneself"
Our generation has what appears to be two major motivating factors; their career, and their pursuit of love. The two often being at odds and a major source of heartache.
When does love occur? Do you believe in love at first sight? Well what about the blind eh? I jest. Maybe it took a little longer for that seed to be sown. Maybe weeks months, even years to realise your blossoming feelings.
But was it real? It seem that love may have been diluted through abusive over-use, you hear young teenagers say it, you may even have that friend who has a new other-half every couple of weeks and you hear the "L word".
I'm not about to throw down the absolute definition of Love, all the poetry, songs and movies combined can't accomplish that feat. I'm not irritated by being unable to find it's meaning. I'm pissed off with people who mis-treat it. Those who use it as bait, as an excuse.
Another thing that has swept me up in the past is the assumption of "magical love". The kind that is apparent in Twilight, The Notebook, A Walk to remember and many of Walt's classics. We seem to think that we'll meet Boy/Girl "X", and they will be incredibly thoughtful, romantic, giving, surprising, tolerant, patient all together perfect people. Yet the second they might slip up BAMMM!!! that person is monster who dashed our dreams, broke our hearts and ruined our lives. People aren't superheroes, we can't always swoop in and make everything better. In my incredibly honest opinion, the best person for you is the one who wants to fulfill these qualities, the one who tries their best to uphold them.
There is no perfect, no smooth ride.
So if I can quote Juno, I shall;
"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
I really can't put it much better than that. Other than possibly with this, perhaps my favourite guide to living;
"Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile"
But if you are in love; how lucky you are!
Or if you're with that special someone, count your blessings.
You're certainly at the end of my envy :)
With Love,
Nevin xxo
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