Saturday, 27 February 2010

The Day of the Reality Masters

New hairstlye - check

Job "interview" - check

Understanding the "whys", "hows", "whens" and "why the fuck nots?" of my life? - still workin' on that one ...

I was thinking alot today of being five years old again. In particular, my first day of school. If the person who left you there told you "this is the first step of the greatest adventure of your life" you'd feel a little short changed;

"Nevin, today is the first step of the greatest adventu..."
"YAY! It's morphin' time ... mummy, you lied, I'm not a power ranger ..."

But really if I had been told that, I wouldn't have found any significance to it. Now is an entirely different story.
I've known two of my best friends since the first day of school, I had my first kiss there, it pushed me to the grammar shcool I attended. The people I met in B.R.A helped shape me far more than I realisied, far more than was in my control. I suppose what I'm trying to put across is that we never understand the journey until we get to the destination, and that I waste alot of time trying to make sense of things, looking for a pattern to it all and trying to pin-point "where it all went wrong", where I do well and how I can try to make myself better everyday.

I ask myself all the time, would the "five-year-old-you" be happy with the "present-you"?

Now, whilst I am disappointed that I never have, and possibly never will be a power ranger/spider-man/ rock-star, I think lil' Nev would be happy with me not being a scaredy-cat, but frustratingly I don't now if I had any goals for myself back then.

Well just some food for thought today, try and remember you're five-year-old self, I bet he/she knew how to eat life with a shovel and didn't poke at life's little complications.

""Necessity" is a relative term"

Still wearing it on my sleeve,
Nevin xxo

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