The Meltdown

I'm having one.

To update my University situation, it goes like this.

I was having a "cheat day" on Monday, so I decided to indulge in some fish &chips from Bishops, and whilst waiting on this greasy delicious filthiness, i received a phone-call.

"Nevin, we absolutely loved your application, but since it came to us after the new year, we're hard-pressed to fit you in. Why did you leave it so late?"

Gap year, travelling, saving, not well, no travelling, three week bender, apply.

"We hope to see you in the future Nevin, as like we said, we were intrigued by your forms, goodbye."

My fish and chips weren't even that good. Gutted.

So my application is still with Strathclyde, so maybe there's hope, if not, then it gets passed to Manchester. After my first and second choice are ruled out, i told myself I wouldn't go somewhere else. I did that with Aberdeen,my saving grace there was that I made amazing friends who helped me sail through that year. I wouldn't be guaranteed that luck again.

So I continue to study for a teaching interview that may or may not happen, the whole while wondering; "What am I doing here, shouldn't I just move, there's plenty of places that'd be happy to have you."

It all stems from not knowing what I want to do, what best suit, where to go, where is best for me, what people to surround myself with, what people actually want or need me around.

So after four nights in a row with bad sleep, horrible dreams, and STILL no chocolate! I decided I'd do something for myself today.
I had an interview with Blast fm. An up and coming radio station based in Belfast, with a view to having a radio show. That'd be pretty fucking awesome eh?

I had a wee poke in "that" book today to see if the meditation was at all appropriate. Must be my lucky day.

"When one door closes, another door opens"

- Nev